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More about...

The last sentences in my home page have caused some confusion. That confusion was intentional, though.

(This is a work in progress. I am trying to summarize many years of thoughts, and I have very little hope of being able to organize all these thoughts in linear form anytime soon...)


Each sentence has several levels of meanings; every sentence, like a physical gesture, expresses a world-view, a way of being, of communicating, of believing and distrusting, a choice of language, values, taboos, alliances and rejections ("I am this"; "I am not that"), a choice of subject and tone... and each sentence wakes up some parts of the imagination of the listener/reader, and turns off other parts -

I don't live in a place where the written law matters much. My feeling is that here, in Brazil, we don't have logic, law and reason above us; we have no absolutes that we can rely on, and no way to really know what is going on... The News speak a pathetic doublespeak that tells a lot about the language that they had to find to survive financially, and too little about "facts", whatever that means -

In some other countries people often take things literally - here too, actually, but that doesn't matter. Anyway: they believe that there is only one way to take things literally - their way. They attribute their meanings to things that could have other meanings, entirely different -

Most sentences also have tone information that say which parts are central, and which are auxiliary; which parts contain new information, and which parts are just to assure that the reader (or listener) has the right context. And sometimes a sentence can also indicate that some parts of what it says is safe, while other parts are secret, or transgressive -


In 2001 most of the people that I had contact with knew that the United Stated had to be in war against one at least one country at any given time - and everything seemed to indicate that the next country was going to be Colombia. Then the 9/11 attacks happened. I saw the attacks on TV and I thought: (1) this looks like an inner job (but we'll never know, and it doesn't matter) (2), this is so incredibly beautiful on so many levels - these people on TV don't look like people, they look just like numbers - it was like watching a war on TV and thinking: "this is a small price to pay" ("for freedom and democracy", say) - and: this looks like TV - everyone will have to think again how we react to the news on TV in the way we do - we sometimes listen passively to news of 30000 people killed in Africa, but we get upset by news of, say, 4 Americans hijacked in the Middle East... (3) well, it must be a matter of "us" vs. "them" - we get worried when people that are "like us" suffer or are in danger, but we tend to accept any justified killing of people that are "them"... however, at that moment it was impossible to look at the Americans as "us": someone who felt our pain, and shared our fears - someone who knew that at any moment the United States could decide that "your country is a menace to the world, and must be destroyed" - had decided to do something, and to be heard...


Condolence: "we feel your pain"
vs. initiation, welcome: "you feel our pain"
some emotional barriers would have to fall
the US would have to stop seeing itself as detached
  from the rest of the world (and surrounded by savages)
spring day
not 3000 _people_, 3000 _americans_
what is a person? when does a person matter?

mirror game: someone who treats the others as non-persons
  is tagged a non-person

blurry concepts:
blue vs. green, male vs. female behaviors, innocent, just

why is it that in some cases hundreds of thousands of people may be
killed - or left to die - without no one worrying so much?

an internal action, to blame someone else
cite Sérgio Macaco
I didn't have a way to access the "real truth"
I had to choose what to believe
  What are the consequences of believing one way or another?
  What do I learn in each case?
  Are the perpetrators like me? Or enemies?
the suicidal terrorist as a modern koan

suppose you live in a favela etc
who would you rob?
  not someone you'd look in the eye and see an equal
  it's easier to rob someone you hate.
  envy and anger
reducing hate
consequences of hate and fear

one step before physical violence
how do we buy safety?
  carros blindados, grades; ou estar cercado de iguais

the enemy is not a person
  (and the government is not a person)
the enemy is an attitude - that I also have
  the enemies: depersonalization
               inconsequence
               mob attitude
	       omission
       	       excess of though and rationalism
       	       coldness

my uncle the fascist
kill, kill, kill!
war seen through the eyes of a child:
  all the dead and wounded are either enemies or heroes
  violence making everyone and everything more pure

keep secrets from the family
  just following orders
  a good provider, doing his duty.

I am not a number. I've tried to be, and failed
we're not living _in_ a capitalist society -
we're living at the margins of capitalist society

draw the line: what can I do?
I can just judge

drinking, psychiatrical drugs, apathy
"nothing can be changed"
Galdino: practical jokes
who is innocent?
what's the meaning of "innocent" when there is no justice
and no social pact?
wolf: the rabbit is not "innocent", it is "food"

attention span
  what can I say in four lines?

the spectacle, subverted
it was beautiful, great
  a small price to pay

better die spectacularly than to die anonymously
even worse: to die and be blamed (loser, communist)
se a polícia bateu nele algo de errado ele fez
  (ou estava no lugar errado na hora errada;
  não é uma pessoa educada e bem-comportada;
  não é boa influência, nem boa companhia,
  e está dificultando o trabalho da polícia)

Intellectual elite
don't even get jobs anymore
education rottened away
RH only wants efficiency
who gets hired:
  winners
  evangelicos, competidores
  pessoas com o psicológico bom

polish rats

queer and non-consumist, with a bizarre ethics, and a
tendency to depression. how would I handle stress?
how people can buy my work and my loyalty?
why would a normal HR manager hire someone like me?
unmanageable, unpredictible, disruptive

studying at the right schools give you the right language
and codes and lets you play golf with the right people
and marry the right people - you learn how to negotiate

By principle we (brazilians) don't trust the government
Torture, corruption
It would be easy to just decide that these people are bad & evil
but things are not that simple. In a sense, they are doing their
best: they _believe_ that their actions are exactly what is needed -
and that someone needs to be tough and do the dirty work. It's a
"cleaning job"

losers are invisible
"if you don't like this then go look for another job"
I'm whining, I know
almost all my friends are either on psychiatrical drugs,
  or drinking and using drugs frequently, or dead. (I'm not)

surrounded by impunity -> panic.
  bullying and rape
  why is rape so bad? did it use to be so bad in ancient Greece?
  it destroys something precious and fundamental
I have fantasies with torturing people
causes: hormonal? social? exclusion?
http://angg.twu.net/gender.html

it should be a shame to be a corrupt policeman
sowing seeds: a dream of a thousand cats

delegative democracy

using the politically correct language
means aligning oneself with the mass and the mafia
  Nurenberg convention in Triumph of the Will
having very little, not being respected, being irrelevant
  beings freedom to say anything (but to no one)

I blame macheza

we need a new ethics